Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Is it really me?

Have you ever been looking in a mirror and caught a glimpse of your "old" self? Kind of like deja vu, but mostly just really seeing yourself. I hope that you are following along...

Every once in a while, when applying makeup or just walking by a mirror I see myself. The real Melissa. The old Melissa. I can see the me from years ago. The young girl who had her whole life ahead of her and had so many plans for the future. I guess this is on my mind more lately because my 10 Year High School Reunion is coming up next month. 10 years!

The last 10 years have been pretty good to me (wish the food hadn't been so good to me! lol). 10 years ago I knew that I would marry KJ. I knew that he was the person that I would spend the rest of my life with, and have kids with. 10 years ago I thought that I'd have a college degree and be an elementary school teacher. Those plans didn't come to pass, but I don't regret that. If I had followed through with those plans then our life wouldn't have turned out the way that it has. We have made a nice, happy life for ourselves and our boys. 10 years ago I knew that I'd have kids. I didn't know that it would be 4 boys, though! Which is a good thing or I might have chickened out! (j/k.)

When I do catch a glimpse of the "old" me in the mirror it's a mixture of emotions. Happiness to see how far I've come since then. Sadness at how quickly the time has gone by and how far away my "old" self seems. Excitement for seeing what the future holds. Mostly, it's just nice to see that even though I get lost in all the mommy and wifely duties, that Melissa is still in there.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007


Seperation Anxiety that is....

Miles has the worst case of it out of any of our kids. Most days I can't even leave him with daddy without him screaming and crying at the gate. Luckily, he will calm down quickly if it's daddy. The poor nursery workers at church try their best to get him to calm down, but it always ends the same.....us having to pick him up in the middle of service. I can't even remember the last time that we got to sit through an entire church service without having to get him and then keep him quiet.

I know that one day he'll be over it. Part of me can't wait! The other part of me knows that when this is over he'll be able to be without me without a second thought. He'll come out of this independent and confident just like his brothers did. He'll also come out of this not so much a baby anymore.

Since he's the last one, I sure wish he wouldn't grow up so quickly! I guess before long it'll be my turn for seperation anxiety as they all grow up and become more and more independent.