Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Getting it off my chest...

If you actually try and read this, then I'll apologize in advance. It is probably going to be long, rambling, and confusing.

There are things going on. Church things. We love our church. We fell in love with it right away.

Perhaps the honeymoon is over?!? Have we outgrown the church, has the church outgrown us? Is it the right place for us now?

It is a contemporary non-denominational church. It's very welcoming and everyone is friendly. It has fantastic atmosphere, SUPERB children's ministry, and a kickin' band (though I'll admit, not as good as when Rick was with us). Our church's mission is to reach non-believers. To bring in those disconnected from Christ and the church. It's a terrific mission, and it is really what we needed in the beginning (over 3 years ago). We were what you'd consider "baby" christians. We had commited our lives to Christ, but didn't really know where to go from there. We found the church, fell in love, got baptized, and joined all within 4 months time. We started a small group, began volunteering and everything was going beautifully. Really it was! I'd say things were great up until late last year. We (the hubby and I) started wanting something more in depth. More bible teaching and less of the "commit your life to Christ" sermons. More meat and less milk. Are you following?

Anyway, we had grew a little tired of the church's small groups. They were great for fellowship, but we just weren't getting what we needed out of them. Along came some friends (and fellow church members), and they offered us a chance to do a study with them. It was a bible based study, and they ok'd it with the church before even moving forward. We jumped in. It was what we were looking for. More in depth teaching and great fellowship. Fast forward a few months, and we are on our 3rd study. Again, bible-based, more in-depth, church approved. The church calls in the facilitator of our study and tells him that we must stop. Immediately. Their reasoning was because we were doing these studies instead of the church's small group. If we were doing it in addition to, then it would be different. Ok, maybe I can understand this. BUT, does it really matter as long as we are doing something that is doctrinally sound? Should they really discourage one who wants to grow deeper? Maybe it isn't the way that they want you to do it, but to say that it's wrong....is that right?

As a said earlier, our church's mission is to bring people to Christ. But what about once you've accepted Him? They don't have a plan for that. They'll tell you that. They don't plan on offering anything "deeper". I understand that we shouldn't rely on them to take us deeper. I understand that we have a responsibility to do it ourselves. But isn't that what we were doing with our outside studies? The ones that they nixed. Is it really right that they won't offer any "deeper" alternatives, and when you do it your way, not their way, then it's looked down on?

So, now there are doubts. Is our church still the place that we belong? Is it still right for us? Is it time for us to move on? Will we ever be able to get were we want to be at this church? Will we ever be able to attend another service with feeling the "weirdness" that's there now? They know us. They know that we were in the study that they axed. They know that we weren't doing it their way. We know that we can't continue on in studies the way we want without worrying that we'll be chastised, or given the cold shoulder. If we stay is our only alternative to conform, and follow their directions? If we leave, where will we go? Will we be able to find a church that meets all of our needs (great children's program, contemporary, friendly, AND deep)?

Right now, there is a lot of praying going on. Praying for His guidance in this situation. Taking the hurt feelings and emotions out of it, and listening to Him. It's hard. But I know that He has a plan for us, and a church home for us. Perhaps, it is our church. I'd love to move past this and discover that we already are home. That like all families, we had problems, but we got past it. Perhaps it is somewhere else. A church that is waiting for us with open arms, and will fit better than we ever imagined.

HE knows. I'm just ready for us to know too!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

My very first TAG!

And it happened twice on the same day! Thanks Traci and Karen, for making me feel special. :P

THE RULES:
Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog.You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.

THE FACTS:

1) I pierced my own belly button when I was a sophmore in high school. My mom has no idea, even to this day!

2) I was the in the Miss Teen USA Georgia pageant when I was 16. My roommate won, and went on to the Miss Teen USA pageant.

3) I'm a big time procrastinator.

4) I met best friend (IRL), online at babycenter.com . we discovered we lived in the same town and had kids the same age (her dd is 1 month older than Michael). we met up and have been BFF since!

5) Since we went to a digital camera, I'm horrible about getting hard copies of my pictures. I don't have any hard copies after 2004! I really *need* to get those printed!!!

6) I've only "been with" one person. Obviously, that is KJ. lol.

7) When I was younger I would talk super fast, and ALL THE TIME. Who am I kidding? I still do!


I'm not going to be tagging anyone, because everyone that I could tag, has already been tagged! I'm breaking the rules! OOPS!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Uncertain...

I hate being "not sure" about things in my life. I'd much prefer to have it all figured out. It's just easier that way. There are 3 things going on in my life that I'm uncertain about.

1) To Homeschool or Not To Homeschool, that is the question....
I'm 95% sure that I've made my decision, but that tiny 5% still creeps in all the time.

2) Are We Done Yet?
We've been saying for a year now, that one of us was gonna go get "fixed". Still hasn't happened. I've made appointments and it never felt right so we never did it. 6 months ago, I was 100% sure we were done. Now, I don't know what to think. I mean HELLO we have 4 boys!! Our life is chaos, how can I even be thinking of adding another mouth to feed/butt to change/soul to nurture. And if we did go for it, there'd be all the "hoping this one is a girl/tried for the girl, huh" (no we aren't/no we didn't, we'd prefer another boy anyway!). Not to mention all the "ARE YOU NUTS?!?!" (If not yet, we soon will be!). Then there are the plans that would have to be put on hold, etc, if we went for it. I'm 100% happy with my family now, and if we choose not to have another baby, then I'll still be 100% happy. I'm just not sure......

3) There's been some stuff happen lately regarding our church. I LOVE our church, and can't imagine ever leaving it and finding another "home" where we feel so welcome and loved. But with that being said, I'm not sure if our future is in the church.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Harry Hand Peter Pan


This is the name that Max gave his little toy puppy. He bought this puppy at a yard sale for 25 cents. It's a small little brown puppy, about the size of his foot. First his name was just Harry Hand. I'm not sure where he came up with this name. A few nights ago, he informed me that Harry Hand's last name was Peter Pan. I'm not sure how he came up with this either, but that's what his name. Harry Hand Peter Pan.

Max is quite the comic. He really says the funniest things. The other day he was helping me to pick out his clothes, and I asked him about a shirt, and with the most serious voice he said, "WHAT?!?! Is that a girl shirt or somethin'?" Now imagine this is the cutest 3 year old voice you've ever heard. KJ and I were seriously ROFLOL.

Then today we were at Home Depot. Matthew picked up a rose bush clipping and the thorns stuck him. He started whining about it. Max picked it up and got stuck, and said to Matthew, "I didn't cry, because I'm a man!" KJ and I burst out laughing. After Home Depot, we went to the lake and had a picnic. Afterwards, we let the boys play in the lake. When we were leaving they put their crocs back on, and Max got into the water with them on. I didn't see him do this. Matthew asked if he could get in the water with his crocs and I said no. Max then said, "Yeah only a real man can." What a nut!!

I don't know where this boy gets this stuff from, but he is a total jokester.